“Begin with the end in mind.”
Dr. Stephen Covey advised that decades ago, as Habit #2, when he released “DescriptionThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” in 1989.
This principle is still true today.
As we go through life, often we apply that habit in a lot of different aspects of our lives. We are wise when we take that advice and apply it to the projects and work that we do.
One major mistake that many make is that they do not apply it to their own lives.
Morbid But Needed
In the video here, David Brooks talks about resume virtues and eulogy virtues.
This short video is a practical example of living out Habit #2.
Watch the video and then consider the following.
While it may seem morbid to think of our own funeral, I think it is a good exercise, regardless of our age to visit in our mind, what our funeral will be like.
What do you think people will say about you? Who will speak? Who will attend?
What are things in your life that will be highlighted?
As the customary slideshow is shown, what pictures, what events, what do you want to be shown?
What do you want to be remembered for?
What would you be ashamed of being remembered for?
Write the answers to these questions. This is a worthwhile, potentially life-changing, exercise.
These were designed to help you identify the eulogy virtues you want to have.
The Best Way To Live Eulogy Virtues
Self-employment is one of the best ways I know to live your eulogy virtues.
Since you own your work, you are free to set up your life and the work you do so that they connect with your values.
You are not part of some large organization that does not can not, promote your values. There are too many people to please in companies.
In self-employment, you do work that provides value to your clients/customers, but you do it in a way that honors your values.
Helping Another
I’ve been to a number of funerals in my life and one of the things that I always wondered is, the nice things that people said about the deceased. Did they ever share those compliments with them in real life? Before they died?
Did they pass along those compliments, share those stories and those memories with that person?
We never know when someone’s life will end. Some will end in their teens, others in their 90’s.
It is never too early to tell someone who you remember them.
It might help them live with their end in mind and live a good dash.
Our Life Is But A DASH
Dr. Covey told us, we begin with the end in mind. In this context, it is focusing on what happens when we die and are remembered for the dash between our date of birth and date of death.
Years ago I was introduced to the poem The Dash by Linda Ellis.
It forced me to think long and hard about the dash between the date of my birth and the inevitable date of my death.
Was I living the best dash I could? Not really.
But when I started living with my end in mine, I could backtrack to what I needed to do now to have my dash mean what I wanted it to mean.
How do we need to live our dash in order to have people say what we want them to say at our funeral? What do we do or say to make people feel so that when they remember us, it will be in the light that we want to be remembered?
A good start is found in the poem The Dash as read by the author and the poem itself.
I hope it speaks to you as powerfully as it spoke to me and helped me focus on living the best dash possible.
THE DASH
the poem by Linda Ellis
I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.
To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?
By Linda Ellis, Copyright © Inspire Kindness, 1996, thedashpoem.com.
© 1996-2019 Southwestern Inspire Kindness, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
